Tiger and Pitino: Leaders and their "Transgressions"

I was shocked with the Tiger Woods news of "transgressions" off the golf course this week.

I was also shocked several months ago when Rick Pitino, head college basketball coach of the Louisville Cardinals, admitted to his own “transgressions” which included an extramarital affair and a certain pay-off.

Many people (me included) identified so much with these people. We saw these people as role models and as leaders. Now, many of those same people, including me, can’t look at them the same, can’t see them as role models or leaders anymore, and in fact, may feel betrayed and hurt. Why have I, and many others, lost respect for these people? Why are we appalled and, maybe in the extreme, maybe feeling a physical repulsion against these people?

In psychology, there is a theory called social identity. To help sustain or even boost our self-esteem, and to make us feel like part of a group, we tend to identify with people who are like us and we have a favorable bias for those who tend to be like us. For me, I identified with Tiger Woods – we are both children of mixed-race marriages, we both have Asian mothers, we both play golf, we are both born in December, we are both in our early 30s, our mothers both told us of strong colors to wear (his mother told him red, my mother told me blue). His golf victories felt like mine. For me, I identified with Rick Pitino – we both are Catholic, we both try to teach others (he on the basketball court and in his public speakings, me with my work, writing and my own teaching at NC A&T State University and other speaking engagements). I was always a big fan of his teams.

When an individual we look up to or identify as a leader, suddenly does something that is in complete contrast to what is our own value system, or that of the group to which we thought we belonged, that’s when we feel a dissonance. We have to try to keep our self-esteem in check, so oftentimes, we try to completely remove ourselves from these people. That’s what I’m feeling right now with these two people, and probably what others feel as well. It’s only natural.

When things like “transgressions” happen to our role models or leaders, it still shocks me, but should it really? We are all human. But, we naturally tend to put leaders under the microscope. We just expect more of our leaders. It’s only natural.

If you are in the position of a role model or leader, you just have to accept that role models and leaders will be scrutinized, and you are no different. You will be put on a pedestal and will continually have a spotlight on you at work, away from work, in meetings, in your community, in the airport, in elevators, with your family, with your friends, with children, behind closed doors, or in other places where people, or you deep down inside, may think you should not be.

As closing thoughts, think about these things:

If you are a parent of a star basketball player wanting to go to college, would you want a coach with “transgressions” coming into your house, and convincing you that he/she should coach, teach, and mold, your kid for the next four years on and off the basketball court about how to live life? What type of leader should come into your household? Are you that type of leader?
 
Another way I myself identified with Tiger, we are both extremely close to our fathers. In talking this week with my major professor from graduate school at UGA, Karl Kuhnert brought this point up: If Tiger’s father, who passed away a couple of years ago, were still around, what do you think he would say to his son about his “transgressions?” If you were Tiger’s mother or father, what would you say?

Finally, what do you think Tiger has to say to his own kids one day about all of this when they are old enough to start understanding, grasping, and comprehending what “transgressions” really are? How can he now be a role model and leader to his kids, or the millions of kids who look up to him, or the millions of kids who are helped by money from his own charity work and foundation?

If you really want to be, or are forced to be, a leader and role model, you just have to accept the fact that more is expected of you.

Comments

[Charles Stringham]

I am very careful when giving out the title of leader to someone. I don't usually give the title of leader to most sports figures just because they can hit a ball (golf, baseball) or throw a ball with accuracy (football, basketball) or any sport for that matter. It has to be earned. We tend to idolize someone and call it leadership. We tend to elevate movie and TV stars because they can fool us by playing a character but in their private lives they are a wreck. I tend to reserve the title of leader for someone who has been tested on the field of life, not propped up by accolades and physical talent. This might be a narrow view for some to digest but I believe we should apply a strick standard to those we call our leader. Tiger Woods is a talented individual who can play the game of golf like no other but he has never had to lead anyone. He can't even lead himself, because a person with character who lives his values would have made different choices.

[Loretta Donovan]

Sports figures, Mike Krzyzewski being the possible exception, have gained notoriety, been rewarded and praised for a variety of personally destructive, self-serving, illegal or anti-social behaviors. Looking to them as role models or leaders in any regard is a shaky business. The question has to be asked, "What does this person offer that is worthwhile for me to emulate?" If it's record breaking performance, a reality check of your own abilities and the source of their real (or enhanced) performance is in order. If it's their traits as a leader, CCL and other research and consulting organizations provide us with frameworks that provide reliable gauges. And at the top of the list on CCL's recent study, thankfully, is ethics. Public figures without this essential trait are their own undoing.

[William Gentry]

These are great. Thanks for your thoughts.

These thoughts harken me back to Charles Barkley's ads many years ago, when he said "I am not a role model." What he was trying to convey was that he, and other sports athletes, should not be the ones "raising your kids" - parents should raise their kids, parents should be role models, they should be the foundation to teach right and wrong.

Many kids look up to sports atheletes and leaders and role models, and some fall short. Kids also look up to religious leaders, political leaders, and they also fall short sometimes too. We are all human.

So, I readily agree, don't be too quick to put the label "leader" on anybody. Some are leaders by mere position, others earn it.

[J A]

CARTOON: Tiger Woods' 17th mistress revealed
http://pastexpiry.blogspot.com/2009/12/cartoon-tiger-woods-17th-mistress.html